If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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