Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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