Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So squirting runs in the family.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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