so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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