My girlfriend figured out who you are.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
