And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
