He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
