Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
