babies were throwing up all over the place
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
