Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
