Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
