Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
