I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
