If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize