Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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