Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
