would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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