I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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