My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I could fuck to npr.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Damn victory sex feels great
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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