Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
