why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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