Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This house was built for laser tag.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my poor anus
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
