tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
