I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
