I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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