Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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