Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
