I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
