oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
