FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
