Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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