yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize