I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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