i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
