i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
