omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
