so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
