OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
