Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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