I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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