Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
