she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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