Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
