We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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