I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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