i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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