Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
