garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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