If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize