Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
