He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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