Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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