The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
