I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
