the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My bed smells like the plague
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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