She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
