It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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