I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
