my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i now understand why vodka
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
