I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
