clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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