ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize