I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
