i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
