He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
