At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize