Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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