sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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