my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
