Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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