Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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