I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
