so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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