I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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